I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
