I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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