New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
