I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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