im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
