how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
