your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
