you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize