I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
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He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
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I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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