that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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