I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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