Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
