It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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