All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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