you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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