I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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