her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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