Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
