there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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