Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
