he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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