I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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