Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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