He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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