i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
