You really coming over, don't trick.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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