Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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