is your mom at the bar?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
