have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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