: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
