This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
