Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
