508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
