i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
