no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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