i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
