playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
