Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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