i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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