Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
