Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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