But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
