bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
