did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
