turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
