I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
