Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
