Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
