what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
