I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
