Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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