just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize