I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
