The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
