Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
