i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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