They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
