I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
