He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize