better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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