Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
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First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
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I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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