So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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