Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
