had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
