Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
