She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
