How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
