is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
