Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
