You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
