So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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